How do you revise for a drugs test?

Sometimes I'll admit that it could be my lousy Spanish that's at fault, but there really does seem to be a course of evening classes entitled: “Drugs: Reality or fiction?” which includes practical work. If you want to see what I mean, check out this link:

Diario de Ibiza - Energy Control organiza el curso `Las drogas: ¿Realidad o ficción?´

More usefully the Balearic government is planning an office that will bring together all the information that immigrants require. Given that more than half of the population of Ibiza wasn't born on the island this should be valuable, if it's done properly.

I know it probably makes sense, but it somehow sounds typically Ibizan that the planned emergency practice at the airport has been cancelled because of bad weather. It would have been the first full-scale test of emergency procedures since 1998. Ah well, mañana...

This week is diving week, intended to promote underwater tourism in Ibiza and Formantera. The water's supposed to be particularly good for that here. (I must admit the longer I live here the less time I spend in the sea. Twice this summer I went in. Shame on me!)

It was sad to read that the first speaker was talking about species of shark becoming extinct in Ibiza's waters thanks to overfishing. Better news is that there's serious talk of a red tuna sanctuary off Formantera. Apparently it's the sushi craze that's threatening them.

Finally, I keep hearing about budget airline Jet2 launching a service from Blackpool to Ibiza. That'll surprise a large number of people in Britain who seem to think they're the same place.

Ibiza's new mountain

It's definitely Catherine Zeta-Jones advertising the new Elizabeth Arden perfume Mediterranean, but where is she? Could that be Ibiza Town in the background? But when did that mountain appear? Is that what happened to the rubble from the motorway tunnels?



One friend's suggested that it would be an ideal place to film the remake of "The Sound of Music."

Can anybody think of anything better?

Lads cash in on lurid Ibiza diary

A group of Essex students have come up with a novel way of paying for their 2008 Ibiza holiday. They're using a website to sell a no-holds-barred diary of their sex, drugs and alcohol-fuelled exploits on the island last summer (2006).

The six 22-year-old lads from Leigh-on-sea came up with the idea of keeping a diary after a seventh mate who couldn't make the trip asked them to jot down some of their exploits. “We didn’t take the suggestion seriously apart from one of us who actually bought a diary out there. We caught him making the odd scribble on the beach. After a lot of pointing and laughing we read the diary, liked what we read and before long were fighting for the diary to jot down our latest thoughts,” said “Danny”.

The diary includes descriptions of how one lad lost his shirt as he had sex in the sea with a blonde, another went with a prostitute and they all ogled the girls in the hotel room next door. “Things were going perfect, they were naked and we were perving complete with beers in hand, we had a beautiful view of some very lovely jubbleys and no one had even so much as bought them a drink!”

Unsurprisngly given the immoral and sometimes illicit nature of their exploits, the lads are all keeping their identities carefully hidden. “Nobody knows who we are. Some of us have girlfriends and all of us have parents,” joked Danny.

Copies of the diary can be downloaded price £1 from http://www.ibizadiary.com/.

Duff beer

It's a long way from The Simpsons' hometown of Springfield to Ibiza, but that's where Homer would have had to to go last week for a special glass of Duff, his favourite beer. Mexican entrepreneur Rodrigo Contreras chose Ibiza for the worldwide launch of the brew which he cheekily named after stuff served at cartoon bar Moe's.

Contrareras claims he came up with the idea after checking the registration of the name “Duff”. He says Simpsons creator Matt Groening only registered the name in the USA and Australia meaning he can use Duff as a beer brand in the rest of the world. “Doh!” as Homer would say.

Solar powered killer

A group of ecologists are asking a council to stop work on a project that's supposed to protect the environment. Councillors on the island of Formantera, next to Ibiza, want to build a solar energy farm to provide clean electricity for the population. But ecologists from the Grup d´Estudis de Naturalesa warn that construction in the cove chosen for the project will mean the disappearance of a type of flower only found on Formantera. The type of Delphinium is on the official list of plants in Spain which are danger of becoming extinct.

Dutch consul apologises to bishop

The former Dutch consul stepped into a row about art and pornography by apologising to the Bishop of Ibiza. Paul Wienen de Vries said in a letter that the exhibition which included a collage showing the late Pope John Paul II in a gay sex act was: “offensive and in bad taste”. The show of works by a number of Dutch artists was forced to close early after the bishop demanded the return of keys to the former church which was being used as a gallery.

Don Pedro captain faces prosecution

The captain and the officer who was at the wheel of the cargo ship Don Pedro which sank in July off Ibiza are to appear in court in November where they may face prosecution for crimes against the environment and criminal damage. The ship was off-course when it struck rocks threatening Ibiza with a financial and environmental catastrophe if the oil it was carrying leaked onto the beaches. Salvage specialists were able to remove the oil without too much spillage. The authorities are still deciding what to do with wreck which may break up if it's moved, but presents a long-term threat if it's left.

Ibiza to offer more for disabled people

Ibiza Town's tourist chief wants the city to attract more disabled holidaymakers. Francesc Buils says he wants the city to become famous as a destination for accessible tourism. The aim is to remove the architectural barriers which exist in the ancient walled city and to create more disabled parking. He says this is a central aim of plans to make Ibiza a cultural as well as a sun and sea destination.