How to get into VIP in Ibiza's clubs

At the beginning of the summer of 2008 I was commissioned to write this article about the VIP area

Image by Q-BEE via Flickr

s in Ibiza's clubs by the editor of a well-known Ibiza blog. Unfortunately she parted company with the company before the piece could be published.

Thw article was going to be so straightforward. It was planned as a basic grid with a list of prices, contact numbers and the benefits of VIP admission to Ibiza’s biggest and best discos. If only it had been that simple.

When I offered to write it I only had the vaguest idea of how VIP worked in Ibiza's clubs. I’d heard people paid 300 euros or so for a bottle of vodka which gave them access to nirvana behind the velvet rope. But that was the extent of my knowledge.

Of course I’ve been in the VIP areas of all the big clubs. But I’m a journalist. If I wanted to pay to get in anywhere I’d get a job which gave me sufficient income to buy a ticket. I do have some shame though. I’m far too polite to ask the punters sitting with their bottles of vodka how much they’d been charged.

Instead the answer, I thought, was to email the clubs and ask each of them how much it cost to get in to VIP. Only the very helpful Armando Daura from Amnesia replied to my enquiry. So I took the opportunity to go and have a chat with him and to see the new Amnesia terrace.

As we talked it quickly became clear that I was stupid to think there would be anything along the lines of a VIP price list for any club. Supply and demand is everything in Ibiza. You want a table near the DJ booth for Cocoon or Manumission in August? Of course it’s going to cost you more than a Fiesta de Agua in June.

In some ways VIP follows the flexible ticket-pricing policy that exists for ordinary club admission. Early in the season it’s easy to pick up free passes, especially if the night’s not too popular. Getting a few extra punters through the door to pay through the nose for drinks is better than nothing. And maybe they’ll encourage their pals to come the following week.

With VIP the position is more complicated because there are no published prices. Essentially you either phone the club direct or get one of the concierge services to do it for you. Explain what you’re after and they’ll quote you a price. As nothing’s fixed that means you can haggle. It’s up to you. But do call at least a day ahead.

Whether or not you accept the first offer you won’t get a ticket or be able to pay for your admission upfront unless you go through a concierge service. You reserve a table at a club in the same way as you would at a restaurant. Pay when you get there and make sure you have cash.. Credit cards have their uses in Ibiza, but those uses don’t always include paying for drinks or food.

Although the prices vary the package you get from each club is fairly similar;

• One bottle of vodka, whisky or gin plus five energy drinks or ten standard mixers between two people. Alternatively you can have a bottle of champagne.
• A table guaranteed for the night where you can leave those drinks while you head for the dance floor.
• A special entrance free from queues. (And, of course, they’ll have your name on the list.)
• Most importantly you’ll have room to breathe, no matter how rammed the rest of the club is.

Despite the similarities the actual VIP experience varies hugely from club to club. Sometimes the service is impeccable. A nod towards the attentive waiting staff brings perfectly-chilled drinks to you

Image by TheFalcon via Flickr

r table in seconds.

Equally, you can feel invisible as you try to get somebody, anybody, to bring you a bottle of over-priced, tepid liquid. Generous tipping, by the way, does wonders for your visibility. Don’t worry about staff sneering at ostentatious displays of cash. They’ll keep their contempt well hidden.

The other great variable from club to club is the celebrity count. Most people with tables in VIP have paid for them. (It’s a strange definition that makes a “Very Important Person” anybody who can spend 300 euros on a bottle of voddy.) The meaning of “celebrity” is equally loose. Perhaps if I spent more time watching reality TV shows I’d have more luck spotting them. But then I’m a VIP on occasion which shows just how lax the rules are.

Well not that lax. Before I get myself blacklisted by every club on the island I should point out that admission policies for VIP are stricter than they are on the normal door. Basically, if you turn up barely able to stand in your cut-off shorts and football shirt, you won’t get in. End of story. You won’t be on the list.

So now you know as much as I know about paying for VIP. Frankly, drinking the half bottle of spirits included in the deal would mar rather than enhance my night’s clubbing. But that’s me. On the other hand there are times when I’d pay almost anything for a little air-conditioned room to breathe.

Next time I’ll tell you about the secret uber-VIP rooms where celebrities snort lines of coke off the naked breasts of beautiful groupies. Or maybe not.

Seriously though. if you do want to get into VIP I do know all the right people and I should be able to get you as good a price as anybody. The charge will still be exorbitant, but you may feel it's worth the outlay for a special occasion.

I also have good contacts if you want to buy or rent a villa. Many of the properties here in Ibiza are beautiful, but there are more than a few sharks, cowboys and time-wasters in the estate agency business here. I can help you avoid them.

Finally, of course, I am a very experienced journalist, writer and author always on the look out for work. So if you need somebody to write about anything to do with Ibiza - from celebrities and nightlife to the spiritual and peaceful side of this beautiful island - please don't hesitate to get in touch.

Give me a buzz on 0203 039 2976. This is a UK number that should come straight through to me here in Ibiza.

Skype me by clicking on the button in the right-hand column.

Or email me at: ibizanick@nickclayton.otherinbox.com